Today I noticed that the grasses that usually grow on the house side of the pond were gone.  Maybe the grass seeds and then dies.  And I noticed that on the woods side of the pond that there was an oily sheen that collect debris and touched the shore.  I also noticed that there seems to be fewer tadpoles and a lack of frogs.  I heard them with their plucked banjo call, but I didn't see any mature frogs at all.  I wonder where the oil came from.  What can I do about it?  

Wet Summer

After  a few days of gloomy wet weather I took a soggy (the ground was squishy) walk to the pond (now full up to the moss).  Nothing has changed that I could see.  As I pondered at the pond, watching ripples, I wondered if all ripples are in the shape of a circle?  I couldn't make any other shape, no matter what I tossed into the water.  Hmmmm...is there a mathematical reason?  Perhaps, but why bother with math when you can just enjoy the ripples.   Then I took pictures and slogged my way back.  I've always wanted to post the tombstones in the backyard for all to see and of course, a new picture of the house.

Today I learned that it is not wise to wash dishes when you are wearing a poncho.  I've also learned that I waste a lot of food mainly in left-over bites.  One person can make a lot of trash in a few weeks.  Everything is bagged, wrapped or surrounded with cardboard.  It all adds up to 2 bags full.  I've also learned that my quiet place on the hill is not so quiet anymore.  Across the street, they pile up dirt, move it around, and constantly back up with their beeping machines.  It can become annoying if you stop and listen to it.  The beeping joins in with the humming of the old refrigerator and the spin cycle of the washing machine.  A virtual symphony of sounds.  I personally prefer the harsh caws of the crows and the bluejays.  I have also learned that keeping a garden for just 7 or 8 weeks a year is a battle against weeds and the weeds are winning.  The peonies have blossomed and they are gorgeous. Makes the fighting the weeds worth it, but really, am I that crazy to think that a part time garden is a good thing.  The trouble is that when I look at the garden, I see a manicured english cottage garden without the weeds: I don't dwell in reality here.  I keep thinking someday!!  I should get a tattoo that says SOMEDAY on my left wrist because that's what I always think when I think I should do something that is good for me and it takes effort,   Except for writing.

Tuesday June 26 Quick Write

As I walked by my bedroom window, a small movement caught my eye.  It was a small spider that had captured a bee in its web. She nimbly moved around the bee spinning unseen threads, wrapping the bee, and anchoring her web. She would quickly spin with her back legs, carefully placing the strands, and she would cut the strands moving the bee closer to where she would store it.  She danced around the bee in a strange dance, tugging, turning, and moving the bee. While I watched, the spider managed to tuck the bee into the corner of the sash, out of the wind.   She worked quickly as if time was important to her.  Such a small animal with such strength. I will continue to watch the spider during the weeks that I stay here; a small companion outside my bedroom window to keep me company.
  

Follow up: The bee carcass is completely gone as is the spider.  I wonder where it went and why it left.  The last rainstorm washed out what remained of the web.  Everything changes

Writer's Notebook

Today is the first day of TeachersWrite! and we are writing about Writer's Notebooks.  This is something that I have kept for about 6 years.  I started journaling when my first grandson was stillborn. I didn't know how to grieve for this life that I had never seen, touched or felt.  It was just an abstract concept that hurt so deep in my soul.  I knew my son and his wife were hurting  and I didn't want to add to that sorrow so I started writing about it.  Just putting down my feelings.  Soon I was drawing and finding comforting poems to add to the pages.  As I wrote, I found affection for George Everett and could honor him with thoughts.  I kept on writing and took this habit into my  classroom and taught the students how to keep a "DayBook".   That's what I like to call it- a Day Book.   I have begun keeping a zentangle notebook, an inchie notebook and a daily diary in which I write down the Daily Rock from Patti Digh and the Daily Be from Facebook.  I live in my head, so writing is something I must do to unravel the tangle of thoughts.  I really hope that someday I can write something that will live on.  I believe that that's how we live forever: through our written words.

Trying to reinvent yourself
is trying.

It's a moment by moment struggle
breathe, inhale

Changing how thoughts form,
Changing your reaction to life,
Changing your bleeding heart.

breathe, exhale

It's like trying to lasso
Clouds with
Threads of thoughts.

A wee talisman that travels everywhere with me.  A constant companion that keeps me grounded.

Possibility

Unfolding slowly
A process of creation
Ideas unfurl
Wings expand and iridescent in the
Cool morning light.

Standing hestitant
On the edge of possibility
A breeze carrying you forward.
An urge to fly
Into the vast unknown.

Now is the time
To let the words take flight.

Reflections

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A poem came out of my reflections on reflections.

Opposite self, glimpsed in reflections
fleeting ephemeral images floating on a surface.

Contradictions revealed, naked and raw,
images of reversed polarities, causing transient confusion.

Echoes of past thoughts imitating wisdom,
light bending back truth to reveal the emotions beneath.

Another glance reflects reverberations,
opportunities for redemption.

Love Letter
At night I worry if I cannot hear you breathe,
In the morning I'm annoyed with your growling.
Sometimes it drives me crazy when you can't sit still
You're always moving, running, fixing.
Can't you see that I need fixing?

How often does my name fall from your lips?
Does my shadow cross your soul?
You are a constant in my mind,
The one thing that I can cling to when I fall.
I breathe you in, you are life, love, all.

A Teacher's Confession

Parent complaints cut me to the quick,
Making me cringe and hang my head in shame.
A throwback to my younger years as a child
Assaulted by torrents of angry words
Because I didn't measure up to some unknown standard.

The shame grows inside devouring my soul,
Leaving me feeling hollow and unworthy to teach.
Making me afraid that angry words will
Spill out of this shame and
Smother the fragile egos offering their trust.

I fight this shame with positive affirmations;
Build a solid wall to imprison the inadequacies,
Fortify against a new assault.
Yet the cycle is not yet broken,
And I enter the room wounded and worn out from the struggle within.

Newspaper Inspiration

Drop us a line,
The paper said.
It's so easy to do
These days. Words
Fly through the ether
Faster than light if
You're in a hot spot.
Words that quicken
The heart with
No voice to give them life.
Briefly seen on a
Small screen or garbled
Sounds passing by.
Your opinion matters,
If only for a moment.

Clouds in Maine

A bowl of blue crowded with lumps of white
Rough edges blending together
Blocking the noonday sun.
Clear liquid notes of birdsong
Pierce the quiet sky,
Soft mournful cooing falls from the trees.
Dancing with unseen winds,
The clouds embrace then part
In vast doe-si-does.
Clouds blanching the surface of the dark water,
A poor reflection of the sky's grandeur.
Greyness grows until it release tear drops
That ripple the surface with sorrow.

Original poetry by Queen Bee

Spaces

the spaces between
where words hide
upspoken
unwritten waiting for the thought
that will bring them into the world

words seeking the proper moment
to inspire
to flatter
to defeat
to maim
to be alive
for just a moment
or forever

words dangling by golden threads
floating
drifting in wide open spaces
ready
to seed fertile minds.

Inspiring Quotes

From my Secret Santa: You must be the change you wish to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandi

First Steps

Today was my first step towards a new me.  I talked with the doctor about my commitment to weight loss.  He gave  me some information and asked me to join the support group that meets every Tuesday night from 6 to 7 in the Lobby of Graybill.   So tonight will be my first night.  AND I started my own exercise program---walking around the block with Buddy.  Tonight it took me 13 minutes and I was huffing and puffing and so was Buddy.  This will become a habit daily after work( instead of snacking).
I had blood work done and tomorrow I will have an EKG. AND I will schedule a pap smear and a mammogram.  It is a beginning.    

A Worker Bee original poem.

Beautiful Image
The hot wind riding through the air

Beautiful Image
Thin breezes passing every car
Brightness shining down like a shiny warm blanket
Cold in the morning
Steaming in a heatwave

Beautiful Image
Russling in the wind
Crushing of the leaves like the whispering of secrets

Beautiful Image
Indiscribable things
Being concerned of this place
Many amazing colors
And impending destruction near.

Life the way it should be. Living, loving and learning. These are some of the things I learned last summer on Everett's Pond. I learned why you should buy oars with long handles. I also learned that you should turn the boat over if it is going to rain a lot. I also learned that the pond is only about 15-20 ft. deep. Rowing takes coordination and is hard work. But the effort is worth it, since once out in the middle of the pond, you can think, ponder, or just look at the clouds in the sky. Meditating in the middle of a pond on a summer's day is life the way it should be.
Mrs. Wohlhieter